To Eternity and beyond....

Today I am celebrating 4 years of togetherness with my husband. It is a very strange feeling, something when I think about; I get butterflies in my stomach and the feeling as if time has stopped in its endless flight. The times we shared as friends and then as a married couple, the conversations, the big and the small moments are still so fresh in my memory as if everything just happened in one day- yesterday.

Today, a line from one of my favourite movies, (used very frequently by my husband to convince me for an early marriage) has become all the more relevant and significant and makes me realize how God has His own way of making you understand certain things only at a certain time. The line is from the movie – “When Harry Met Sally” and goes like this- “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” And I am glad I didn’t wait for a couple of more years to get married to this wonderful man and an amazing husband.

It’s not that these years have been a bed of roses and we didn’t have our rough patches to ride on; but just knowing that even in the direst circumstances, the other person will be around, was eventually the most (and still is) comforting factor.

We have differences. And not just trifle ones; major ones- issues on which we are poles apart and will never share a common opinion, issues which challenge our existence together, but (and a very important but) we both know that we can’t imagine our lives without the physical presence of each other. This keeps us together and binds us for the rest of our lives.

I always thought that I will love him till the time I take my last breath but I was wrong, I will love him to eternity and beyond…

Thought for the Mood
“Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day.”
(And I need to remind this to myself everyday, especially when we have differences.)

“What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down -- that person has committed himself to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him off.”
(I have actually never bothered about hiding any of my negative traits, I am what I really am, and this makes me really comfortable.)

Why is life so difficult to live?

Why is life so difficult to live? I have so much in my mind right now that I just do not know where do I begin and where do I end. People may look at your life and find it very beautiful and full of happiness but in reality only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches. And here I am not just talking about myself but may be on behalf of many others caught in an unexplainable and intricate situation.

I have always believed that all of us have likes and dislikes and most of the times very strong desires and they are our very own only. Then how come is it that we have no control or rather people control what we should like or dislike. Why do people get judgmental about how we should be living and what is the right way or the wrong way. Everybody is here to talk about their personal experiences and ready to give all the advice on what we should be doing. My problem is that I don’t want to know what they experienced and whether I should be having the same set of experiences as they have had. I want to do something when I really believe in it and when I really want to do it and not because somebody else thinks this is how it should be done.

I am unique in my own way and I don’t want people to act as a critic on that. I am what I am and I love to live my life my way. But people dictate even the way you want to live. I have never understood lessons on “you live in a society and this is what you should be doing, this is what the society expects you to do and what will the society say if you do or don’t do such a thing.” What perplexes me is that I am doing what I should be doing to live in a society. I am not going around and killing people, or abusing them or breaking the law, basically nothing to cause any remotely possible harm. Then why the interference?

All I wish is to live in peace and let my choices decide what I want to do rather than what I should do because somebody else expects it. I want to take responsibility for my own decisions and never want to lose my identity and self of being. I am still hoping someday it will really be either my way or no way at all…. Touchwood!!

Thought for the mood
“Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.”
(And get messier…)

“I think somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.”
(I want to live with my decisions too or atleast begin with making them myself)